It’s only been three months since my last half-marathon. It was hot and hilly and even though I’d done that race five times prior, I distinctly remember shuffling up Juniper Street around Mile 10 and thinking to myself that I don’t want to do this anymore.
I’m honestly smiling here because I stopped for a second and am not running.
I’ve always had those types of thoughts after a race, but usually after a few months, I find myself signing up for another half. By the time I sign up, I’ve forgotten how much I hated those last few miles and how much I cursed myself for signing up. Again. But this time feels different. Maybe it was because it was half-marathon number ten and ten seems like a good stopping point. Or maybe I’ll get the urge again, but as of now, I don’t feel it.
I’m still running but the distances are much, much shorter. I’ve been doing lots of 2-mile interval runs, alternating between sprinting and walking. I’ve been doing some steady paced 3-mile runs. But that’s really it as far as running. As far as other workouts, I’ve been doing a lot: spinning, various classes at the gym, some weights, my Core Fusion DVD, my Shred DVD. I’m still working out five days a week, but not running so much.
When I ran a marathon back in 2007, lots of people asked me if I would do another. I wavered back and forth for years. First saying definitely not, then saying maybe, before realizing that it was probably a once in a lifetime experience for me. I’ve never really thought of myself as a marathoner. Half-marathoner, yes. Marathoner, no.
What I’m sort of struggling with right now, is how to redefine how I think of myself these days. Instead of half-marathoner, I’m simply a runner. Or am I just someone who runs?
Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with people who run shorter races or people who just run as a form of cardio. My first half-marathon was in 2005. So for seven years, being a half-marathoner has been a part of my identity and a big one at that. So when I decided that I didn’t really want to do another one anytime soon, I almost felt like I was losing a part of myself.
I’m not sure why I was initially drawn to the 13.1 distance. My first half was actually the first race that I ran period. I think it was just to see if I could do it. I didn’t know if I could. I’m not a naturally athlete person. I have bad form. I’m inherently lazy. But I proved to myself that I could do it. I proved it ten times over. Somewhere along the line it went from being this crazy thing that I was doing to what I do. And what do I do if I don’t do it anymore?
I think we are quite alike with running and the grappling with whether to do races or not. It sounds like right now, taking a step back and *just* running is good for you and what you like to do. I feel more at peace with running now than I ever have. It took me awhile to adjust, but I think I am finally at a point where I know that running is *it* for me…not the race aspect. Loved reading your thoughts on this, I was nodding in agreement quite a bit!
I think that you can call yourself whatever you want: runner, person who runs, half marathoner, etc. You can be whoever you want to be. Running is just a part of you, it’s not what defines you. I think you should just do what feels best for you.
I think a lot of runners find themselves defining themselves by races and the distances they run versus simply defining themselves as “Lee, who just so happens to like to run.” Period. End of story. No need to expand beyond that point. I think part of the problem lies in the comparison trap that happens a LOT among runners (at least that I’ve noticed) and feeling the pressure to run faster, longer, and race a million weekends a year. But just because you aren’t feeling the half marathon thing right now doesn’t mean you’ve lost part of who you are. Because a part of who you are IS a runner…but it’s not ALL that you are, and that’s awesome. Just my two cents.
This is something that was strange for me during and post-pregnancy– it was probably the longest period in the past five or six years when I wasn’t running, and it felt *strange*…and then it felt kind of GOOD, which was even stranger to me! I realized that it was actually really nice to take a break from running. I think giving yourself some time off to just do what you want to do (whether that’s running a shorter distance, or checking out other forms of exercise) is a great idea. Ultimately, I bet you’ll return to that half-marathon distance– you just seem to be so drawn to it!
I went through a brief period of feeling like this. After running three halfs, I thought it was something I’d always do. Then I just didn’t want to anymore, and I don’t know if I ever will again. But honestly, I like my life better without all that running. It was too stressful with all the pressure to keep up with training, eat right, hydrate right, get enough sleep, etc. I’m a naturally stressed out person, so it just wasn’t good for my mental state.
You’ll figure out what works best for you, it just may take a little more time and reflection.
I’m sure you’ll find your stride soon enough! Just think on some of the new activities you’ve been participating in and decide which one you like best. That should be the one you dedicate yourself to. 10 halves is a seriously impressive record, so even if you decide to stick with something else for a while you’ve already done something totally amazing! And who is to say you wont find another passion and accomplish something else that is amazing?
I think anyone who runs regularly is a runner – regardless of the distance. I went through a few years where I really didn’t like running. That’s when I switched to triathlon and didn’t run anything over a 5K for a long time. I loved it and it was just what I needed to fall in love with running again in the future. Find what you enjoy and do that – it’s too hard to work out when you don’t like it.
I think it’s become so “cool” to be a runner and it’s almost becoming more competitive to consider yourself part of the club. I used to think that anyone who ran with any regularity was a runner and worthy of my admiration. Now, I feel like that unless you run distance that others don’t consider you in the club. It’s stupid. I’m no more a runner because I am training for a marathon than my co-worker who runs the same 2.5-mile route five times a week.
Of course, you could ditch the runner label and just define yourself as awesome – far better idea in my book, if you ask me.
You’re totally a runner. I can’t believe your first race was a half. That’s awesome. I ran like 10+ 5Ks and a few 10Ks before running a half–and I was totally branded as a RUNNER, no question. Just keep on doin’ your thang. As much as I love running and racing, I tend to wait til the last minute to register for races, even the races I run every year. I can up and run whenever I feel like it. But these days, I just run a mile here and there, or I run a random 8 to 10 miles on a Saturday. Sometimes, I just need a workout, but other times, when conditions are perfect, I run an accidental 10 miles. Do what feels good. If you’re in a rut, don’t fret. You’ll either get over it or find a more enjoyable substitute.